i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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