dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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