JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
