just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
