i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
