I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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