Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
