his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
