Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
