So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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