Just took my morning after pill in the library
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
