Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Are we still banned from the library?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
