I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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