Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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