oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
