I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
