Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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