Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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