Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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