i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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