And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
