I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
