i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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