Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
My vagina just recognized that song.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
