he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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