hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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