So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
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and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
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If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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