What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I understand Curling. That high.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
