So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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