Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Two words: nipple clamps
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