wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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