There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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