So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
