you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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