I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize