he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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