It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
