i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
