i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
