so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
