She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
