I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I don't deserve a penis
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
