Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
