My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
