She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
