Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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