I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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