I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
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