in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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