I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
