I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?