He went soft
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.