note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
