i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
