I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
