yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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