You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
