as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
