i need an iv and a liver transplant
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize